Chapter 1: This immortal has quite a foul mouth

Fufeng City, under the setting sun.

Chen Qiu, dressed in plain hemp clothes, was looking at the city gate not far away in a trance. 

There, a sect called the "Heaven-Shattering Gang" was openly accepting disciples. A chubby man who claimed to be an outer elder of the sect, was holding a wooden megaphone and shouting loudly.

“The annual Heaven-Shattering Gang disciple recruitment event has begun!”

“Don’t miss out as you pass by!”

“The day to become an immortal is right now!”

“Join the sect today, and you’ll immediately receive 100 coins!”

His name was Chen Qiu, and not long ago, he had transmigrated here.

Today marked the thirty-first day since he traveled through time. After chopping firewood for thirty painstaking days, he had finally managed to save up over two thousand coins, just enough to rent a small place of his own in this unfamiliar city.

Chopping firewood was hard labor.

The buyer specifically asked for "ironwood," a tree extremely tough to chop. Moreover, the areas where these trees grew were monopolized by local tyrants. To chop wood on their turf, one had to pay an entry fee.

He spent a full 29 days, and could only compete with villagers for some scattered "iron wood" in small corners that the local tyrants didn't care about. He could only harvest a dozen coins a day, which was not enough to even feed himself.

He was rather clumsy and really couldn’t learn how to chop wood.

Fortunately, on the 30th day, he learned how to chop people.

That’s when he finally made a small profit.

Since he had opened his shop yesterday and was in a good mood today, Chen Qiu decided to take a day off. He spent 300 coins to rent a small room and wandered around the city during the day. He also spent a few dozen coins to buy some pork head, peanuts, and half a pound of Shaodaozi (a type of strong liquor) to celebrate in his new place.

Today was a rest day; tomorrow, he would chop wood again.

He was looking forward to this feast—it would be the most lavish dinner he had since his transmigration. 

It seemed like just a small step, yet it represented a big step in establishing himself in this unfamiliar world.

His mood was quite good along the way. When he heard that a theater troupe from the capital was about to enter the city, he even went over to join in on the fun. Until then, his mood had remained pleasant—until he heard the three words "Heaven-Shattering Gang."

He began to feel a little dazed.

This strange but somewhat familiar feeling made him wonder if he hadn’t actually transmigrated but was simply dreaming.

He knew that this world had immortals. However, he rarely entertained the idea of cultivating immortality. He only wanted to survive. 

If he could be a little more extravagant, he would want pig’s head meat at every meal and never be caught for chopping people. After all, when it was hard enough to fill his stomach, how could he dare think about cultivating immortality?

Moreover, this "Heaven-Shattering Gang" sect gave him a feeling of being too low-class. After all, he was an outer sect elder and an immortal. Why did he shout like a street vendor?

Most of the people around just glanced briefly and moved on. After all this time, not a single person stopped to listen. Could it be that the people of this world have such a low desire for immortality?

Chen Qiu shook his head and didn't stay any longer. Perhaps it was just a coincidence that the name was the same. At that moment, the theater troupe was also making a grand entrance into the city, surrounded by a large crowd.

In this world, actors didn't have a high social status. 

However, this troupe had a famous singer from the capital who only sold her art, not her body. 

It was said that a high-ranking official from the capital had once offered three spirit stones for a single night with her, but were politely declined. Naturally, many people wanted to see what a woman worth 3 spirit stones looked like.

He stood on his tiptoes for a glance. She was alright, he supposed—seemed like the people of this world hadn't seen much better.

After joining in the fun, Chen Qiu didn't linger any longer and turned around and walk deeper into the city.

Just then—

Perhaps he had stood there for too long, or maybe it was because he was moving against the flow of the crowd, but the "Heaven-Shattering Gang" outer sect elder who had been shouting nearby took notice of him. After a loud call, the elder started sprinting toward him.

"Fellow Daoist, wait up!"

Chen Qiu's mouth twitched slightly. He held his oil-paper-wrapped pig’s head meat and the porcelain bottle of Shaodaozi, as he turned around and walked away without hesitation.

"Fellow Daoist, please wait!"

The voice behind him grew louder and louder.

His steps also grew longer and longer.

However, he was an immortal after all, and he ran faster than him.  Soon enough, the man, panting heavily, ran ahead of him, put his hands on hips, and angrily shouted, "What the hell are you running for?"

This immortal had quite a foul mouth.

Since he couldn't outrun him, Chen Qiu stopped struggling. He quickly changed his expression to one of sincere fear, bowed respectfully, and cautiously said, "Please forgive me, Immortal. I didn’t realize you were calling me earlier. May I ask what instructions you have for me?"

However, in a place where the man couldn't see, his brow furrowed slightly. 

Is this an immortal? An immortal who got out of breath from just running a few steps? How useless could this immortal be?

"Don’t play dumb with me!"

The chubby man angrily pointed at Chen Qiu's nose and scolded, "I’m an outer sect elder of the 'Heaven-Shattering Gang,' in charge of accepting disciples in Fufeng City. Do you want to cultivate immortality or not? Just say it!"

A crude and frail immortal.

Looked like he could be cut down with just two slashes.

Chen Qiu instinctively touched the hatchet tucked in his robe, but he kept his face respectful as he straightened up and explained, "To answer the Immortal, I was born without the aptitude for cultivation, so I have never considered setting foot on the path to becoming an immortal."

"Forget it, no problem."

After taking a few deep breaths, the man was about to speak, when his expression suddenly became strange. "Buddy, what did you just say? Cultivation aptitude?"

Chen Qiu was slightly taken aback and didn’t know how to respond for a moment. Are the immortals in this world so down-to-earth? Using words like "buddy" when talking to mortals?

Although a bit confused, Chen Qiu instinctively replied, "Yes."

"Hahahahahahahaha!!"

Hearing this, the chubby man, drenched in sweat, wiped the cold sweat from his forehead then he snatched the pig’s head meat from Chen Qiu’s hand, tore open the oil paper, and began to devour it with big bites, without any care for his image,  looking quite excited. "Good! Very good!"

However, what the man didn’t notice was this:

Chen Qiu's expression had visibly turned cold.

This pig’s head meat was something he had been looking forward to for a whole month. It was possibly the happiest thing he had experienced since his transmigration. Everything he did today was to prepare for enjoying this meal of pig’s head meat.

But now...

His pig’s head meat had been snatched away by this pig-headed man in front of him. This hatred surpassed even that of someone stealing his wife.

Chen Qiu glanced around. Because the theater troupe was entering the city today, the gate area was crowded with people watching the commotion. The place was packed, and there were plenty of soldiers maintaining order. It wasn’t a good place to make a move.

There was a bamboo forest not too far away—barely suitable for chopping people.

Just as he began calculating in his mind how to strike, the man wiped the oil stains from the corner of his mouth with satisfaction and said, "Big hammer 80, how much for the small hammer?"

Chen Qiu was immediately stunned and a flash of disbelief crossed his eyes. He thought he had transmigrated alone, but it turned out to be a group transmigration!

After hesitating for a moment:

“Forty?”

“What’s the next line after ‘Palace Jade Liquor’?”

“A hundred and eighty a cup.” [T/N: Inside jokes from china which are known by almost every chinese person lol. Both jokes are from spring festival gala skits.]

“Good brother.” The chubby man, satisfied, put his arm around Chen Qiu's shoulder. He then turned back, walked to his own stall, took down the "Heaven-Shattering Gang" banner, and led Chen Qiu to a bamboo forest not far away.

“Let me introduce myself. My name is Fei Long. Back on Blue Planet, I was the owner of a startup company. How should I address you, brother?”

“My name is Chen Qiu. Back on Blue Planet... I was a freelancer.”

Chen Qiu nodded thoughtfully and had a rough idea of the man in front of him. Startup companies are more often than not, on the verge of bankruptcy. 

Outsourced finances, no social insurance.

No day off on Saturdays; Sunday off is not guaranteed.

As soon as the employees filed a lawsuit, the company would promptly go bankrupt.

“But are you sure your name is Fei Long? Is there even such a surname on Blue Planet?”

“No.”

Fei Long shook his head with certainty. “I made up the name myself. Out here, you have to create your own identity. It's tough accepting disciples these days. If you don’t give yourself a flashy title, who would want to follow you?”

"I made up my own backstory. At my birth, a celestial phenomenon appeared in the sky—a five-clawed fat dragon circled nine times before diving into my body, proving that I will soar to the sky one day!"

"If people can find messages in their fish, then having a five-clawed golden dragon at birth isn’t that far-fetched."

Fei Long took a deep breath, then casually took the bottle of Shaodaozi from Chen Qiu’s hand. He downed it in one gulp and burped in satisfaction. "I haven’t had such good food and wine in a long time."

Chen Qiu looked at the now-empty porcelain bottle, calmly touched the hatchet tucked in his robe, glanced around, and asked softly, "Aren't you the outer sect elder of the 'Heaven-Shattering Gang'? Can't you afford pig’s head meat?"

"I already said, when you're in this world, you need to make your own identity. I am the only member of the Heaven-Shattering Gang."

"So, you don’t actually have a sect? And you're not an outer sect elder?"

"Nope."

"So you’re accepting disciples without a sect?"

"If I have disciples, won’t the sect naturally come into existence?"

Chen Qiu fell silent again. 

Most people would think of founding a sect first and then accepting disciples. This guy's idea was that with disciples, a sect would naturally exist. He didn’t want to judge which was right or wrong, but he could only say that this guy had some nerve.

"Then, you promised that anyone who joins would get 100 coins. Do you have the money to give?"

“No money.”

Fei Long nodded seriously. “But I will send any new disciples who join to a secret realm. If they come out alive, I’ll pay them. If they die, I don’t have to. And if they make it out, the treasures they bring back from the secret realm will be worth more than 100 coins.”

“Is the death rate in the secret realm high?”

“Very high.”

“What if they survive but don’t give you the treasures after they come out alive?”

“I’m at the sixth level of Qi Refinement; I'm definitely stronger than a newcomer. If they don’t hand over the treasures, I can just take them by force.”

“If you’re at the sixth level of Qi Refinement, why don’t you go into the secret realm yourself?”

“Like I said earlier, the death rate in the secret realm is very high. I’m a bit afraid of dying. Aren’t you?”

“I’m afraid too.”

“Even so, how are you going to manage your sect’s mountain? Every sect needs a mountain, right?”

“The sect primarily trains its outer disciples through worldly experience. Only when they are promoted to inner disciples will they get to see the mountain gate.”

The two looked at each other, and Chen Qiu was a bit speechless.

 

He knew it—these startup company bosses are all the same, none of them are any good.

This wasn't about accepting disciples at all! He just wanted to find people who would sacrifice their lives for him. And all he was offering them was empty promises without any proper benefits.

No wonder he wasn’t getting any attention. It would be a miracle if he did!

 

------

Previous

Next